Chronicles of the Cross Family

Cuteness, Crazy Hair and Irresistible Smiles!!

2011-07-27T10:16:00.009-08:00

An outfit Aunt Missy sent...

Some of her first real laughs...so cute!

Some very interesting hair after a long day... :)

This cute outfit was from Rosa, a friend from Josh's work. It reminds me of the 80s...a little Cindy Lauperish (sp?)

White and metallic silver "Born to be Fabulous!"

Love these funny faces and smiles!

Look how long I am...I am only 2 months old!

More crazy hair...Loved that it always stuck up on top!

Josh's Work Christmas Party

2011-07-27T09:51:00.002-08:00

Look at his dimples!!! How can you resist?

"How you doin'?"

So sweet and handsome!

And so the circus of expression begins....

After the part (late afternoon) our handsome boys in their pea coats!

Looking at the moon over the neighbors house...what a pretty and cold afternoon!

All pooped out...

Before and after our Cross Extended Family Photo Shoot

2011-07-27T09:39:00.005-08:00

We were all dressed up for a photo shoot with Josh's Family...so we dressed in our Christmas attire. Poor Noah did not feel good this evening, his stomach was really bothering him...so in most of these he looks miserable! But it is really comical these days with how many pictures you have to take to get one where they are all smiling! :) I think we eventually gave up and used individual pictures for the Christmas cards. Hope you enjoy the Many different expressions going on...

Esther is 2 months old...and entering the Christmas season!

2011-07-25T13:11:00.007-08:00

Sunday morning getting ready for our family to read the advent message and light the candle...and of course we have to dress festively (especially because this month we have a lot of dresses to get through!) :)

"This is not what I had in mind this morning!!"

"Ok...fine! If I must!"

Her first night gown...oh the memories this brought back for Mommy with her two sisters growing up.

A special outfit Grandma Cross made Esther. So cute! She got a lot of compliments this day while we were out and about.

Noah's crazy hair...

Happy 8 weeks Esther!! And Christmas Decorating

2010-12-10T17:46:00.009-09:00

Having a great conversation with Daddy.

Esther loves her brothers!! I can't wait to see how special their relationships will be as they grow!

First official "tummy" time.

Look I am holding the rattle!

Aunt Missy got me this outfit and I have almost outgrown it!

Playing dress up...this time in the coolest bubble wrap around!!

Such a pretty, sweet, and precious girl!

Happy 8 weeks today!!

Happy 7 weeks old Esther!

2010-12-10T16:50:00.006-09:00

Most Saturdays we like to make pancakes for breakfast...so we decided to invest in a griddle so it wouldn't take an hour to do 2 pancakes at a time...:) We got a good deal on Black Friday...way later in the day and I had to go to the store to get pumpkin anyway for our meal.

This is one of my favorite pictures of our pretty girl!!

She is already quite the talker!! WE LOVE IT!

Granny's first grandchild...and he hasn't forgotten it!

Yes, my husband is amazingly (freakishly)long (looking in this picture)!

She is 7 weeks old in this picture...I always try to take a picture on this day...but it was long and this is the best I could do.

Happy 6 weeks old and Thanksgiving

2010-12-10T16:20:00.011-09:00

Here Mateo is showing Aunt Erin and Uncle Marty that he finally fits in the track suit...and of course Noah has to get in on the action.

Who said eating healthy isn't a lot of fun? (did I mention really messy?)

Granny brought back treasures from Cousin Jackson's 1st Birthday party for the boys...did they have fun or what! Thanks Aunt Missy and Jackson...Happy Birthday!

I love this picture of our boys!! The play so well together (most of the time!)

If you don't know this about Noah...here it is in full glory! Noah LOVES to play dress up! Any type of glasses and hats...

Showing Grandpa how Mateo is learning to read! Grandpa came over and shoveled the driveway with the boys (since Josh was very sick the whole week and it had snowed a lot!...Thanks Grandpa for the shoveling and the quality time spent with the boys OUTSIDE!! :))

Esther just starting to smile and coo...

Granny and Papaw visiting on Friday after Thanksgiving...during a break from the hospital...Aunt Mindy was in labor (for days...) and now has given birth to a beautiful baby boy named Nathanial Theodore!! Yeah for all our boy cousins!

Later Friday night we had Thanksgiving dinner because Josh was finally starting to feel better. Here is our version of Thanksgiving dinner this year...gluten free, dairy free, soy free, corn free, nuts, apples, and so much more free...YET SO THANKFUL FOR OUR FOOD!!! It was special and good!

We decided to try 3 new varieties of specialty squash (Mateo is our squash lover!!) We loved the little one the best!

Quinoa Tabuli

Cornish Game Hens with fresh herbs

Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes with Coconut milk

Fresh Green Salad

And to top it off...Pumkin Custard with Whipped Coconut Milk!!

Yummy...if you don't believe us look at our faces...

Also...VERY HOT...I love this face of Josh's...very genuene :)

Esther's 5th week

2010-11-19T20:23:00.005-09:00

In my pretty blue sweater

Right after a bath...can you see my curls? Only when my hair is wet...then poof!

I think I will be tall like my Daddy!

5 weeks today!

So precious!

Happy 1 month Esther Grace!!

2010-11-15T14:13:00.011-09:00

I can't believe she is one month old!! Our sweet precious girl!! Things are going really well around here! God has blessed us with a beautiful and content baby who has already added so much joy and love to our family! It is amazing how God chooses the perfect little ones for our family...can't wait to see what He has in store for each of our miracle children!

Well in honor of Esther's 4 week (almost 1 month) birthday...Aunt Mindy (who is ready to pop with her new little boy any day now...) graciously came over and did a photo shoot with our family and to try to capture our little girl before she grows so fast (she'll be off to college before we know it!!) (She is over 10lbs and very tall...like her Daddy)

Here are just some of the precious pictures of our family...The kids did great...Esther was very tired but she made it through... Thanks Mindy they are great!!

she is so sleepy here...

And here are some from the last week (her 4th week of life)

The boys had so much fun playing out in the fresh snow!!

Can you see how long I am getting?

My little party dress for Aunt Mindy's baby shower!

Our church outfit...but I don't want my picture taken I just want to be fed!

My first ride in the Ergo...so fun snuggling with Mommy...who am I kidding...I like to snuggle with everyone!!! (so fun having another snuggler...we have been blessed with 3 happy snugglers!)

Happy "3 week" Esther!

2010-11-06T15:37:00.009-08:00

Sleeping is hard work sometimes...( or Daddy, that flash is too bright!)

Our first independent (of headband) bow in the hair...didn't last very long :)

Getting ready for church...(Mommy loves this outfit!)

Daddy had to go to Kodiak Monday and Tuesday for work and we all survived on our own...but we wore this outfit in reminder of how much we missed our Daddy...:)

Friday...3week B-Day...look how much I have changed!!! (Have I mentioned I have pretty much grown out of all of my newborn clothes...on to 3 month old clothes!)

End of another long week!

She is doing great!!!

Happy "2 week" Esther!! (one week late :))

2010-11-06T15:07:00.007-08:00

Esther's 2nd week of life was spent growing like a weed and meeting more family...

Reading with Daddy...

Chillin' with Aunt Mindy

Special time with Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa!

Here is our 1st 4 generations picture!

Big Brothers loving on little sister...not easy getting a picture of them kissing at the same time! :)

Laughing at Granny...

Proud brothers who love baby Esther so much!!

Meeting Grandma and Grandpa for the first time, after getting back from their vacation.

Grandma stayed another day to help Mommy with the boys...

The end of a long week (Friday- Esther's 2 week B-Day) hanging out with Daddy and Mommy after a long day of 2 week appts for Esther and Mommy. They both went well! Esther has already gained 1lbs and 3 oz since birth and 1 lbs 7 oz since leaving the hospital! She is growing and changing so fast!! SLOW DOWN little one!

Here she is getting her first real manicure from her fabulous Daddy!

Soooo tired...

Happy "1 week" Esther Grace!!

2010-10-22T18:59:00.007-08:00

Look how big I have grown in just a week!! I am changing every day! These are in order with the last outfit being today, my 1 week mark!

At my 1st weight check (2 days after being released from the hospital) I was 7lbs 14 oz. (birth weight 7lbs 11oz- home from the hospital at 7lbs 7oz) So I am eating well and growing so quickly...

Our first outing to go get weighed.

First bath at home...we had to improvise because the water wouldn't stay the same temp.

One week mark (today) with my brothers...who love me so much!!!

Our precious little girl!

From Baby Sister to ...

2010-10-18T20:52:00.015-08:00

Esther Grace Lilianna Cross
A gorgeous baby girl with spunk
(gets it all from her mom -wink wink)

We are tired, but glad to be home. This was quite the experience, but we have so much to be thankful for. From the people praying to the nurses and doctors caring for us, we are so thankful. Special thanks to Granny and Papaw for lots and lots of help. Through it all we were reminded that God was in control, knowing exactly what we needed.

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
- Psalm 147:4 -

Now, here she is

Definitely Daddy's little girl!

Some special people came to visit us in the hospital ... Big Brothers

Our overnight Date/Early anniversary get away...

2010-09-19T06:00:00.004-08:00

So Josh and I decided we REALLY needed to get away and have a small moment together before baby sister arrived. It has been an crazy summer and with all a lot of our family moved out of town this last year (no guilt really :)) we haven't been getting as many reprieves from our lovely children as we are used to. (As most of you know it doesn't matter how wonderful your children are it is good to have a break once in a while :)) Anyways...our anniversary of 9 years is coming up but about 1 week after baby is due...and we both knew nothing soon after baby comes is going to happen) Soo...we went to Alyeska for a night last weekend. (it is in Girdwood, a small town about 45 mins out of Anchorage.) The lodge is ok...but it was gorgeous and so good to get away...we probably could of been anywhere and enjoyed ourselves. The best part of the date was getting to go out to dinner. Now I know this might sound average to you (and probably a year or two ago I would have taken this for granted...but...due to my multiple and major food allergies in the last year...I am no longer able to eat out ANYWHERE!! (even if I managed to find something on the menu that would work with all my allergies...there is the problem of "cross-contamination"...and really all it takes is one time to ruin all the other work and effort to eat right...anyways this is another post in and of it self...) So Josh found this great restarunt in Girdwood with a chef who had a few dishes on the menu that might work for me (gluten, soy, dairy, corn...free) and had been emailing them about their knowledge, ability, and willingness to cook a meal for me without certain ingredients and cross-contamination issues. They were wonderful! And very willing!! Not only did they have one...but they had three choices for me when I got there, including a delicious salad starter option! This is such a treat for me...and to make it even better...my loving and romantic husband ordered one of the other options, so we could share and I could enjoy more than one dish! I love my husband!!! He is so good to me...constantly!!! He always amazes me...and mostly in the everyday things not the big romantic gestures (though he is good at those too, I would always chose the everyday-love over the occasional big grand gestures)! Plus he is the best Daddy around...our children adore him!!! Before I forget...Jack Sprat is the restaurant if anyone is in Girdwood and wants to try them out!! And if you have dietary restrictions...give them a day or two heads up and they are very willing to work with you! The food was delicious and we had a great time, just the two of us. It was fun to dress up, but being just the two of us it was hard to take a picture together...note the separate pictures...

36 weeks exactly (now I am 37 weeks hopefully only 3 weeks to go!)

Our room came with tram tickets so the next day we rode up the mountain and enjoyed the gorgeous scenery. God made Alaska so BEAUTIFUL!!!

I love you Joshua Cross! Thank you for such a special date!

Some recent family fun...

2010-09-19T05:37:00.004-08:00

One family walk/outing to the creek by our house...

After this initial picture I had to ask Daddy to squat so I could get a better close-ups of everyone... :) Daddy is still quite a bit taller than our 4 and 2 year old.

The boys are sporting their new "fall" jackets Granny and Papaw got them...(if Mateo's looks small its because it practically shrunk 2 sizes which we didn't realize until this outing...so Costco let us exchange for larger size :))

We were so blessed to get to see (for a very short time) a hard working beaver, before it went under the water when it heard us and our dog. (Have I ever mentioned my extreme like for beavers? They are amazingly designed animals...you should look them up sometime...of course if you are like me you have tons of spare time to do this...:)*sarcasm* )

The boys on a little adventurous route that Mommy chose to stay on the paved path and take pics. from.

I did make it down this little rabbit trail though...

Noah helping Daddy unload the dishwasher...Our boys love to help and in our house (though we never use this word) "chores" are a privilege and a fun family activity where we "work as a team"together. It is a little funny/ironic that when our oldest is in trouble and needs consequences for a bad choice/behavior or attitude...for him one of the most effective "consequence" is not being able to help and work with Daddy or Mommy.

Look at his proud happy smile!

Helping Daddy make Mommy a treat!! Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Soy-free, Corn-free, banana bread (recipe adapted from the best banana bread ever from Guatemala!!) Believe it or not you probably couldn't tell the difference and it is such a wonderful treat for Mommy right now!! Thank you boys!! Now if only Mommy would share more right? :) (I do share a little...:))

Hello! Remember us :)

2010-09-03T14:53:00.010-08:00

Hi! I am not even going start in with the excuses for one of the biggest and worst gaping holes of blog updates...known to man! (was that dramatic enough? :)) We have wanted to update this for a while but...I know....excuses, excuses. :) But I really wanted to get it done before our impending deadline...

On to the fun stuff! Well...we are all doing great! (Mommy has been having a lot of pain issues with pregnancy since the 6 month mark...but in perspective plugging along!) Our summer has been busy with family and friends visiting, Mateo turning 4, Noah turning 2, along with a much needed bathroom remodel (health and sanitation reasons :))--which has taken so much of our time! Trying to do everything as cheaply as possible means Daddy is doing 95% of the work himself (of course with a little help from Mateo) in every spare moment he can find (yes, very much like Superman). But that is finally done, and now we are on to baby's room and to conquer our "To- Do- Lists" of our "To- Do- Lists". Did I mention we only have 5 weeks left!!! Did I also mention we all can't wait to meet our new little daughter/sister? pink pink pink..oops sorry :) some times it just slips out :)

I know this little update does not do justice to the practically 5-6 month hiatus...but it is the only way I could sit down and do this without panicking from how much there is to share, not to mention the hundreds of pictures I want to share...but this is it for now...feel free to ask questions if I have forgotten anything.

Here are some pictures...they are all mixed up and out of order! It has been too long since I have done this...and the lack of a longer than 2 hour stretch of sleep for the last 2.5 months has taken a toll on my brains ability to function fully or care that they are out of order :) Sorry... they are still pictures :)

Amazing Mothers Day Giveaway!!

2010-04-13T10:34:00.001-08:00

Just entered an amazing mothers day giveaway! (And it will help this family raise funds for their Ethiopia travel fund for their adoption!! :) Check it out at their site:

http://bottomlysandethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/04/giveaway-mothers-day-is-coming.html

Another “few and far between” update of the Cross Family!

2010-04-05T11:30:00.009-08:00

It has pretty much been 3 months since we have updated you all on our family! And, yes we have fallen off the face of the earth (with good reason, which we will share with you in a moment)! Our family has been through a lot since last fall (see here for a quick reminder of everything), we have been hanging on very tight and making it through, trying to be as thankful as possible through it all. Just when we thought we made it through all the craziness of the rollercoaster of the last 6 months, and that our lives were about to settle down for a little bit as we enjoyed the anticipation of the arrival of our next little blessing, our lives were shaken again. This has been a really hard update to sit down and write for lots of different reasons … (taking a deep breath and starting with the easy stuff…Mateo :) )

I think we left you last finishing up Mateo’s surgery at Seattle Children’s and then making it home around mid -January. Let’s get you caught up in this area of our life. Mateo is doing great!!! We were sent home with a little guy that had a sore back, but otherwise in good shape…he was on Tylenol for a few weeks and then done with all meds. The doctors said to try to keep him from jumping, rolling, tumbling (not wanting too much pressure on his spinal chord so it would not leak and then have to be repaired) as much as possible and to not immerse his incision for 8 weeks. At 6-8 weeks we were to go back and have a follow-up with the neurosurgeons and the urologists (just to make sure there was no damage from the surgery). It was about 9 weeks before Mateo and Mommy made the 3 day trip to Seattle for the follow-ups. The doctors said he looked great, he was cleared to be a normally active little boy, and we should see them next year for a basic check up. Praise God for wonderful doctors and news! No physical therapy, no long term effects…we just continue on with a smiley 3 almost 4 year old, who runs and jumps and keeps us on our toes. :)

The other thing we had mentioned in our last update, was that we were continuing our adoption (we had started in Aug. and then had it on hold for a couple of months as we figured out what was going on with Mateo’s health- then when in December we got things moving again…we were thrilled to be able to continue as we really felt our hearts in Ethiopia waiting for the little one God had for us!! :)) and now on the waiting list to find out who our child was. We were told it could take up to 4 months to “receive our referral”, which is when the agency calls with a child they have for us, and we get to look at their pictures and information and say “yes!” :). Well…within 2 weeks of being home from Mateo’s surgery, we received our call on a Wed. afternoon!!! We were shocked and truthfully a little overwhelmed! But when we laid eyes on our precious, beautiful son we knew we couldn’t bring him home soon enough! We fell in love immediately, though truthfully we had loved this child and been praying for them for the last 6 months of our lives (since we know God put him/her on our hearts). Sometimes I struggle with how to put this into words so people will understand and believe that it is as real and as valid as a biological bond…but I truly believe God does something amazing to our hearts. The bond He cultivates between the families He chose to be together through adoption is miraculous and quite amazing. At the time we got the call, our little boy was almost 10 months old, healthy, and gorgeous! He had beautiful curly hair and big bright eyes. Josh and I knew we would say ‘yes’, but we were strongly encouraged by our agency to have his health history reviewed by a pediatrician to make sure we were comfortable with everything. We have a wonderful pediatrician for the boys who agreed to look at everything and get back to us by Monday morning. We were not concerned, everything looked good, we knew we were going to accept him - we were just waiting for the formality to be over. We shared his picture, name, and a little about him with close friends and family, expecting to officially share with everyone about our new son on Monday sometime.

And then on Sunday afternoon we received some news that told us that we were not going to be able to adopt this precious boy or even be able to continue in this adoption process, and we were devastated! (this might sound dramatic, but it is so very true!) This is where we really need your understanding and grace.

Raw Emotional Thoughts of the Situation:

The loss of this boy- our son, was/is so real! Our hearts were broken. We were in shock. We didn’t understand how this could happen. To be completely honest with you, we were struggling with how God would let this happen!?? Why would He place this child and this country in our hearts, lead us to this precious child and provide for every detail in this process just to stop it here? How, with everything we have been through in the last few months, could we really handle more!!?? (this really felt like the last straw of what or how much we could handle!) Maria is pregnant! In our shock: I didn’t want to be pregnant! Please try to understand, this is nothing against the child inside of me! I am just so happy being a mommy through adoption. God has given me the most precious, handsome little boys through adoption, why would I want or need to be pregnant? I know there was a time 6 years ago, when I would have given anything to be an expectant mother through pregnancy, and I would be so frustrated with others who would be pregnant, but not happy about it. (So, I do see the irony here- for those of you who might still be in that position, I am very sorry.) But I truly feel that God had taken that desire from me, and I am so content with my beautiful children. (As my pastor put it a little over a month ago in a sermon- right when I needed to hear it (to check my bad attitude) This was my security blanket, this is what I know, this is what I am comfortable with, this is a part of my identity…and now it is being taken from me…and instead of trusting God to be my security in everything, I was throwing a fit!) And now we are being told we have to give one precious child up for another? How are we supposed to deal with this. Does anyone actually have to do this? We feel people will expect us to be thrilled…but will they be able to acknowledge/understand our loss? Our confusion? (Not to mention how sickly and miserable I have been in the last year with still a handful of mystery pain/digestive complaints that are unresolved…how was I going to handle 9 months of pregnancy on top of this…for the first time….with 2 little ones at home?) Our fears…Will people think this child inside of me will somehow be “better” than our little one in Ethiopia (or even Mateo or Noah?) because this one is “our own”? That this one is a “miracle” baby. Please hear us when we say this - Mateo and Noah are OUR OWN!! And they are just as miraculous as this child growing inside of me, because they are all blessings from God!!

Logistics of this situation:

We were aware of Holt’s policy with pregnancy and adoption. We signed a contract at the beginning of working with them that if we were to get pregnant during the process they would not allow us to continue. Their reasons are founded in that they believe each child, adopted or not, should be allowed at least 9 months of being the new addition in the home to allow for proper bonding and family adjustment. If we were able to continue, there would likely be less than 3 months between both homecomings. Though we were aware a lot had changed with Maria’s health during the last year that had could have improved fertility, we felt very strongly about where God was calling us. So, we signed the contract, committing wholly to this child. In our shock and grief, we struggled with feeling like we had really let this child down, and now there was nothing we could do about it.

Holt has put our account on hold for 6 months, frankly, in case something happens to this pregnancy. (I am in the last week of my first trimester (13 weeks)). After this wait time has passed, we will just have to start the adoption process over again when we are ready, no sooner than when our new baby is 6 months. All the money we have paid so far (less than a third of the total cost) will just be forfeited. Believe it or not this is absolutely the least of our concerns, because we really believe Holt is doing amazing things for orphans all around the world in God’s name and know that that money (God’s money- your money, time, garage sale goods, buying coffee…however you have blessed us with support) has helped and is helping these children either stay with their birth families or be brought together with adoptive families.

So now 2 months later, we have had some time to process and grieve. We still don’t know why all this has happened this way, but we take comfort knowing God’s truth that He is in control and knows what the big picture is. We have found some comfort knowing that our little guy in Ethiopia is with a new family that we are sure will love him as much as we did/would have, instead of a worse fate facing these orphans daily. We still feel Ethiopia on our hearts and hope that God will show us why and for what purpose.

In the grand scheme of things and keeping things in perspective (though we feel loss) there has been no death, no life threatening illness that we are struggling with, and we are still trying to thank God in all the craziness, because He truly blesses us daily! We have a new child that we are ready to love and welcome into our family in about 6 months…just as curious to see who God has for us…boy or girl, what are they going to look like, what will they be like. :) We do have an idea of their age, though! ;)

Though we are doing better, we are still progressing. So we ask for grace and patience (and prayers) from you in this situation! Thank you! And for reading through ALL of this, I will include some pictures of our cuties that will hopefully make it worth it for you :)

Mateo's Laugh...so precious!

Noah's kissey face

His newest response to "Smile Noah"--cracks us up!! Wait until you see the next one...a beautiful specimen.

Easter Morning...

Our boys love each other sooo much...that has been one of the cool things to see develop between them!

Rough day at church?!!

Our Great Friends!

2010-01-27T11:21:00.005-09:00

We wanted to share with you about this amazing couple! We love them so much and they have a beautiful family. One of the cool things that we wanted to tell you about is this: God has put adoption on their hearts! When we heard this we thought "How Wonderful! What a special family to be a part of, so stable and nurturing and FULL of LOVE!" They are a great Christian family and wonderful parents! Please if you could help them by keeping your ears open for anyone who is looking to place their baby with a family for adoption, that would be amazing! You can read information about them and their family at this site JeremyandAmandaadopt.blogspot.com. Contact info is listed on their site or please feel free to contact me about them too! You are also welcome to pass on their info to anyone you would like! They also have a more detailed letter for potential birthmoms...so we can get that to you too, if you have somewhere or someone you would like to give it.

I am just impressed with their hearts in this process and how open they are to the child God has for them. Here is a quote off her blog "So we are praying, as we always have been that God would open the doors of communication to "our birth mother." And we trust that He will, when the time comes. I can't help but get overwhelmed by the gravity of the need out there, and that there are swarms of women who don't know what they're going to do now that they are pregnant and are choosing life for their baby. Wherever you are, brave one... we are on our knees for you and your precious child."

Please just keep them in mind...it is wonderful how God works through people like you and me to bring little ones into their adoptive families! Noah's Birthmom and I were amazed when we counted how many people helped linked us together (and in such a short time!) 5 people! Thanks so much for your help in this!

An Amazing Life!

2010-01-27T11:14:00.002-09:00

I am also speechless and inspired...I read this on my good friend Amanda's site. Thank you Amanda for finding this...I could barely pull my self away from reading her blog...what a true picture of selfless, obedient, servant hood! I hope you all take a moment and read about this incredible woman!

I'm speechless and inspired

Yesterday, I came across the story of Katie... I'll let you read her story below for yourself. Prepared to be amazed, humbled, and inspired! But here's a hint... she's 21, an American who lives in Uganda, and has 14 daughters! You can follow her blog here.. and learn more about Amazina Ministries.

2009 Christmas

Below she recaps how she got to where she is now...

It is my 16th Birthday and I am eating sushi at my favorite restaurant with my parents when I tell them that I would like to explore the possibility of taking a year in between high school and college to do mission work. This is unheard of in my family and they say they are not sure and will think about it. I am nervous, but somehow I know it is right. He changes their hearts.

I have just turned 18 and find an orphanage online. I beg my parents to let me visit over break, just three weeks. A month later I am on a plane. I am so excited. I am so scared of being, but I know He is going with me. I fall in love.

I graduate high school having made the commitment to teach Kindergarten for a year at a school in The Middle of Nowhere, Uganda. In August I get on the plane. I’m apprehensive and I cry most of the way because I miss my Mommy and my boyfriend. I am eager, but so uncertain. I trust Him. I teach 138 children how to speak English and to love Jesus.

It is October and I am just not sure I can do it anymore. I live in the smallest room I have ever seen in the back of a pastor’s house. I am more uncomfortable than I had bargained for. No one understands, not people here, not people at home. I am tired. But I am prideful and I am not going to quit. I don’t like this. But I know He has a plan. I learn, I grow, He is there.

It is December and God has spoken very clearly about opening a ministry that sponsors 40 of the orphaned children in the village where I am working. This involves moving into a different house, ALONE. It is big and I cannot imagine how God will fill it up. I am lonely and I am anxious. But I am still trusting. He fills the house, and we now have 400 children sponsored.

It is January and I am looking at a little girl, crushed under a brick wall with no one to care for her or her younger siblings. I offer to take the three home with me until we find them a better placement. I am not really sure what to do with them, but I know they are God’s children. They stay.

It is three days later and the littlest looks at me and calls me mommy. My heart might break in two. Something clicks. I am even more scared than I was the day I stepped on that plane, but I KNOW. Today I have 13.

I have to deliver a baby, give a boy stitches, pull a tooth, give and injection. I am petrified. But no one will do it if I do not. He is present, He holds my hand, they are all fine.

It is August and I must get on a plane back to America to go to college, as I have promised my father. I do not remember how to be a teenager or what it is to be normal Brentwood, Tennessee. I will have to leave my babies. I will have to make new friends. I am sad and I am terrified. He wraps His arms around me. He puts just the right people in just the right places, and they help me and they make me feel at home.

First semester is over and He speaks clearly to me that I cannot serve two masters. “Go HOME,” He says, “and stay.” I am uncertain, but I want to be obedient. He squeezes tighter. I am thankful.

I have to look at my loving parents who have given me everything and tell them that I will not go to college right now, because I feel God wants me to be in Uganda. I know how disappointed and how angry they will be. I am more scared than I was when I got on the plane and more scared than I was when I took my first children. But I know that this IS the Plan. They love me anyway.

It is February and my daughter’s biological father comes to take her away. My heart breaks in half, and I am not sure I will ever be able to get out of my bed again, let alone foster another child. I am more than devastated, but I want what is best for her, what He wants for her. She comes back and her biological father learns about Jesus.

It is March and a lame little girl is brought to my gate. She is undoubtedly mine, but I am still anxious. What if I can’t do it? I don’t know what to do with a special needs child, especially as my 13th child. I am criticized and ridiculed. I wonder. I trust and praise God for her sweet little life. She starts to walk.

I find myself in a village full of starving people that for some reason seem to want to kill me. God says to serve them anyway. I am not sure how it is going to work, or if it is safe. I can’t figure it out, but I know He can. 1,200 Karamajongs, the poorest of Uganda’s poor, are now served hot meals daily.

We keep taking in more children until there are 400 in our program. There is no way we will raise enough funds, but by now I have stopped worrying. He has always provided. Blessings rain from the sky, and all 400 children go to school.

I am 20 years old and have 13 children and 400 more who all depend on me for their care. Who are all learning to love Jesus and be responsible adults and looking up to me. The reality of it all can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, it is always pure joy. There is a common misconception that I am courageous. I will be the first to tell you that this is not actually true. Most of the time, I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not. Most mornings, before I even get out of bed I am overwhelmed with His goodness, with His plan for my life; I stand in awe of the fact that He could entrust me with so much. Most days, I don’t have much of a plan. I don’t always know where this is going. I can’t see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter, getting out of the boat. I do not know my five year plan; even tomorrow will probably not go as I have planned. I am thrilled and I am terrified, in a good way. So some call it courage, some call it foolish, I call it Faith. I choose to get out of the boat. To take the next step. Sometimes I walk straight into His arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost completely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand.

We are home and I am 30 !!

2010-01-15T21:46:00.002-09:00

Well it is late...but we are home and today was my 30th birthday...:) A little uneventful for a 30th, unless your idea of fun is spending all day packing up a room (did we move in or what?) and then waiting a couple of hours in the lobby waiting for the shuttle to pick us up (with very tired grumpy kids) and then spending the rest of the day in an airport and/or airplane. :) But we are home...have I already said that already? And tired...

Mateo is improving everyday...and the plane ride was mostly ok though he was pretty sore and stiff coming off of it. (He fell asleep for about 2 hours...in not the most comfortable positions). And Noah slept too, but when he wasn't asleep he was making all of the people around us deaf! :) HE WAS NOT A HAPPY FLYER! (Fever and 4 teeth coming in at the same time-one molar, one canine...poor baby!) Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes...now to settle in again and for Mateo to heal!

Love
Maria
Off to bed! (yes I know I am getting old!)

Pictures from the morning of surgery...while we waited.

2010-01-12T16:31:00.003-09:00

Showing Daddy his "gown" ...just low enough to not be flashing everyone!

2 hours is a long time to wait...getting very loopy--without meds. ;)

"Do I really have to smile one more time?"

Daddy suiting up to take me in...He did great and was very brave breathing deeply in the mask. The nurses said he did better than most of their teens. (Mateo not Daddy)

The night of surgery...

2010-01-12T16:30:00.002-09:00

A special toy from Mommy and Daddy...

Some of Mateo's favorite visitors...

2010-01-12T16:29:00.002-09:00

Baby Jackson

Abe the Therapy Dog...and no he did not charge by the hour ("therapy" dog...never mind :)) (I know that joke was very cheesy...I must be spending alot of time with my husband for his humor to be rubbing off)

Brother Noah and a kiss! It is so sweet how much they love each other!

Misc. pictures from hospital

2010-01-12T16:28:00.002-09:00

Mateo reading "Tickle Monster" book from Granny and Papaw, note his right hand turning the pages is in the "monster mit".

Shampoo in a cap...no shower needed...who would've thought!

After shampoo...

"Doing better" pictures on the afternoon of discharge

2010-01-12T16:23:00.002-09:00

A Cute Present from Aunt Missy's Friends from Church

Mateo's first ride in a wheel chair...on our way to the play room to see how he would do.

Painting with Daddy...

I love this smile!

We are homefree...sort of... :)

2010-01-11T21:03:00.002-09:00

Well at least we are back at the hotel as a family! Mateo was discharged tonight at 8:30. I did not think it was going to happen, when they told me this this morning. It was a rough morning, step by step, gradually moving him onto his back, proping him on a flat pillow, then moving his bed up a little at a time until he was sitting up. Then trying to get him out of bed, poor little guy. (keep in mind he pretty much has not moved anything but one arm (he didn't use his IV hand because it hurt him) for 3 days and any little movement hurts him, and then just the mention of moving him again scares him because he remembers how it hurt him last time). They also took the foley cathater out and took him off his morphine drip, and started giving him oral pain med with his tylenol. Then we had to get him to the toilet...he could barely stand on his own. Anyways...I could go on and on about the small baby steps he took all day getting used to moving again. But...He is doing better this evening and they said we could go home...so we have our instructions and we are at the hotel until Friday where we have a insicion check with the nurse and then we fly home that evening. It is nice that we get to go to bed tonight as a family and wake up as a family. My mom is flying home tomorrow morning. We are SOOOO THANKFUL that she was here! What a sacrifice...taking off work, paying for a ticket, and being available 24/7 to help us with Noah and packing bags/food back and forth to the hospital, bringing Noah for a few hours during the day and then being with Mateo when we needed a break or needed to run an errand in the hospital. She was so much help, but now she probably needs a vacation from her "vacation" :) Noah has kept her hopping...he is very active now and wants to be on the go all the time.

Well good night! I am going to go put my feet up!

Update 2? 3? :)

2010-01-10T14:18:00.008-09:00

OK...I am sorry I didn't update yesterday ( I was exhausted and my back was hurting! How do these nurses do it day in and day out?)
Mateo is doing well. The first night and yesterday he really struggled with a bad headache, so we started giving him Tylenol on a schedule to "compliment" the Morphine drip. As yesterday went, he was complaining less and less and today nothing (about the bad headache--backache, bellyache, and iv-pain still but tolerable). He just keeps improving...during the day we have to roll him on his other side every 2 hours (every 4 during the night) And yesterday, it was a very upsetting and painful process, it would take him a few minutes to settle down. And today every time we turn him it is less painful and smoother for him. He is in better spirits today...and is doing well laying still. Soooo... tomorrow they will allow him to try to get up, we wonder how that will be for him. His incision look great (for an incision...) Here are some pictures that my mom has taken on her phone and later we can try to add ones off our camera...I have a really good one of a special dog that came to visit Mateo yesterday. So precious!

Noah is doing really well with Granny but he does miss us, so yesterday I went back to the hotel a little earlier to catch him before his bed time. We had special time before he slept. Daddy stays with Mateo in his room over night and then when I come early in the morning Daddy goes and gets some coffee and breakfast. Then Granny comes with Noah around lunch time. We spend time together (by this time Noah is ecstatic to see Daddy) as a family, and then Josh takes Noah back to the hotel to both take a long afternoon nap. Then Granny after helping me with Mateo, and goes back and meets Josh to switch care of Noah, and then Josh comes back to the hospital all scrubbed clean and somewhat rested :) And we start it again. Also (you will see in the pictures) Aunt Missy and Uncle John with Cousin Jackson come to visit for a couple of hours around lunch time too. We have been sharing a room this whole time and we have been in the spot closest to the door. It has been a little strange having lots of people and dr.s and nurses in and out for the people behind us but we kind of adjusted. But...now our roommates (a teenage boy)have been discharged this afternoon and we asked if we could move into their spot so we could have a little more privacy and a big beautiful window! And we did. So we are now settled and I am loving all the natural day light! I get here so early and leave after dark...so all I have seen in the last few days is florescent lighting...so this view is very cheerful! We are very thankful for the wonderful Doctors and Nurses here...we have had a few bumps, but overall we have been happy with the hospital here!
Here are some pictures...

Noah and Jackson hanging out...

This picture is out of order, but I can't for the life of me get it down further so read the description with the other picture of Mateo and Jackson please.

Noah eating breakfast ...blueberry pancakes!

Mateo and Mommy waiting for the shuttle to go to the hospital for the surgery.

Noah about to go for a stroller ride to the store...he is having a lot of fun walking up and down the halls with Granny pulling his lady bug toy he got for Christmas. You would think he owns the hotel by how proudly he walks.

Mateo just lights up when baby Jackson comes to visit...he is so sweet and precious to his newer cousin and loves holding, talking, and tickling him. (Jackson is almost 2 months old)

Mateo surrounded by a jungle of animals that keep arriving as gifts for him (the monkey came with us).

Granny sporting the "tickle monster" mits and the new book Mateo she and PaPaw gave Mateo as a gift. They both had fun reading it together.

He made it!

2010-01-08T21:36:00.002-09:00

Hey everyone!

Mateo made it through! He is doing well...he is not very happy with how miserable he feels, but he is resting now. :) His biggest complaint when we first saw him was how hungry he was! :) I don't blame him though...Surgery was supposed to be at 11 but they didn't start until 1:30. And he was brought to his room from recovery at 5:30 pm. I would be very hungry and thirsty too!

Anyways...the doctor felt it went really well and was very glad they did the surgery. They found what they expected to find...and got it taken care of.

Praise God for his protection and peace during this procedure.

Now it is time to go to bed, sorry this is so short and to the point, but I am exhausted...Daddy is with Mateo tonight in his room and I will be relieving him early in the morning. Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes. We will try to keep updating this as we go.

Seattle Update - Day 1

2010-01-07T19:04:00.002-09:00

A short update ... We made it to Seattle and kind of slept through the night (new place, excited boys, need we say more?). Today started by talking with Mateo's neurosurgeon about what will happen, what to expect, and the questions we had. He was very positive today...and said he showed Mateo's images to the other surgeons in their department and they all agreed and were surprised that he was in such good shape for this type of spinal chord condition and that this is the right first step. After we finished with the surgeon, we headed down to talk with the anesthesiolgist for more explaining, questions, and answers. Then back up to neurosurgery to talk more about what to expect before and after the surgery. Then to the lab for a basic blood draw, just incase he needs blood during the surgery. They all did a great job preparing us for tomorrow (It is very hard to imagine that spinal surgery can sound so simple.)

We are very thankful for Seattle Children's Hospital and everyone there. It is hard to explain how much we apprecitae all their efforts to care for Mateo. Everyone (and I mean everyone) has been so friendly, helpful, and cheerful and they just love Mateo (and he loves all of the positive attention!)

We spent some special time tonight with our family (Granny and Aunty) swimming and having a treat - pizza! Tomorrow is the big day. The surgery is scheduled for 11:15 - Seattle time (10:15am Alaska time) so if you think about it, please pray for Mateo, the surgeon, doctors, nurses, and us.

We will try to update tomorrow! Thanks in advance for your prayers!

2009 Christmas Photos 4

2010-01-04T12:52:00.000-09:00

2009 Christmas Photos 3

2010-01-04T12:51:00.000-09:00

2009 Christmas Photos 2

2010-01-04T12:50:00.000-09:00

2009 Christmas Pictures 1

2010-01-04T12:48:00.000-09:00

My sister Mindy's present to us...a 2 hour photo session!

Answered Prayers!!

2009-12-07T10:18:00.003-09:00

Thank you all for your wonderful and supportive responses to our last update! You all were a big encouragement to us and it was good knowing so many people were praying for our family and our precious Mateo! God has answered our prayers!! It was so good to finally be at Seattle Children's Hospital and to actually be talking to the doctor who knows about Mateo's condition! We were so thankful for NEWS, any News! And as far as we are concerned this is great news!! So here is the scoop...( bare with us through the explanation so you can understand why this is good news)...

The first day: Mateo went in to get another MRI and a CT scan of his spine. The nurses were very nice and Mateo was being very brave...though we could tell he was nervous, the nurses were very impressed with his attitude. I guess it is pretty common for a lot of screaming and crying....our child? No...he was laughing and giggling (at some moments uncontrollably!) Thats our Mateo for you! Though we knew that he was doing this because of his nerves, we were still comforting him and being positive with him. He was scheduled to meet with the anesthesiologist first then get his MRI and then they would move him to the CT Scan and do that next. But...they decided that because he was a bright and compliant child, they would have him do the CT scan first before they put him under anesthesia. Two reasons...one they actually get a better picture if he is awake and can follow there orders of stretching arms..etc. and two...then he won't have to have as much anesthesia given him (twice as long). So we did it first and he did great!! Josh and I got to be in there with him and we were so proud of him. And as we walked back, all along the way there were people asking if it worked and our nurse said yes...and they were all impressed! (If it sounds like I am bragging a little...I am! I am so proud of my son and for all of your prayers! We knew God was with us (we had prayed this with Mateo) and that he was comforting and protecting Mateo! Then we went back to our room and he went under anesthesia for the MRI part. We were told that we could go get coffee and come back in 45 min. So we went up and got some food and when we got back he was done and in his room. He was still sleeping and slept maybe 20 mins more. He woke up, they took his IV out, gave him some juice and crackers (which he promptly downed and immediately asked for more- that's our son! :)) and then they sent us home.

The Second Day: We had to check in at 7:45am for our appt with Mateo's Neurosurgeon. We ended up waiting 45 mins...but we were ok with that, because we figured he might have been using that time to go over everything. Then Mateo said he needed to go potty...and so Josh took him (as they were leaving I told them to hurry incase the dr came) 20 seconds later the Dr. walked in :) Of course! So he asked me to tell him about everything leading up to this appt. while we waited for Mateo to come back and while he pulled up Mateo's MRI pictures and CT Scan. on the computer. It was amazing to finally get to see the Mateo's spine! The doctor was great at explaining things and showing us things on the pictures. He was also good at answering questions...not once did we feel rushed ( I have been very nervous about covering everything in a half hour appt!) So...Mateo's spinal cord is split, but there is no bone (as of now) in between the cords! There is just tissue. Which is amazing news! Mateo's cord is tethered, but it is tethered at the bottom, which is relatively simple to go in and snip it. If it had been tethered by the bone or cartilage in the area were it is split...the surgery would be much more difficult, complicated, and risky! When I say tethered, keep in mind a normal spinal cord is supposed to hang loose in the spinal column. So tethered means it is attached somewhere. This is a problem because as he grows and moves the cord will be stretched and cause pain and loss of neurological functions (walking, bladder and bowel function...) So Mateo is going to have this surgery at the beginning of January. Why do we think this is good news? Well, first of all, this type of spinal cord untethering surgery is fairly straightforward. And this Dr. does it 1-2 times a week (unlike the worst case scenario surgery to fix a split cord tethered by bone, 2 times a year). It is a small incision and Mateo will have to stay flat for 3 days and be in the hospital about 4 days total. After that he should be good for a while! As far as we know, no physical therapy, no special treatment afterward... For a little better basic explanation from the hospital click here.
So we are encouraged because after this surgery, there is a good chance that Mateo will be great! (of course he is already great!) We will just keep our eyes open for any major changes in his functions, and then he would get another MRI when and if that would happen. The Dr. also wants us to have a urodynamic test done on Mateo before the surgery to get a baseline of his bladder function (which we are so thankful for...from my research I felt it was very important to have this done and I couldn't get anyone up here to agree with me...so when he was trying to convince us that it was important...I was so relived! :)) We will do this the week before the surgery. There are still some unanswered questions about how all of this could effect him and what does this mean for him in the future, but they are questions that really no one knows, because it is such a rare condition and when it does happen each child "malforms" uniquely. So each child has unique challenges and so we will just have to wait and see. :) God knows! And He is taking care of Mateo and us as his family! We are thankful for Mateo's doctors and nurses! We are thankful that he can have it done soon! (Jan.) We are thankful for my sister Melissa and John, who live in Seattle and have let us stay with them and use their car as needed! We are thankful for my mom and sister Mindy who watched our house and dog Oliver, while we were gone. We are thankful for insurance and the Native hospital! We are thankful for my Uncle Rich who offered his $50 Companion fare so we could afford for Josh to fly down with us! We are thankful for Josh's family for their offer of upgrades (bummer we couldn't use) and any help we needed! We are thankful for all of your calls, email, and post showing your concern and love, for the offers of help, money, and meals! Thank you for loving our little ones, and taking such good care of us!

Praise God for listening and answering our prayers and for giving us such a support system!

Love
Maria, Josh, Mateo, and Noah
P.S.
My grandma is doing great after a triple heart bybass surgery (80 years old and counting :)!!) Praise God!
My Sister Melissa is recovering from her C-section and baby Jackson is doing great...he is almost 6 pounds now! It was a blessing to get to meet him and help them a little. :) I will try to get some pictures of the boys together! Their first cousin! Josh and I are now an Aunt and Uncle for the first time! :)
And we should be able to continue in our adoption! Yay!

Throwing in a few pics!

2009-12-07T09:28:00.005-09:00

Here are some pictures from October...We do have more recent pictures but we have left our camera at Josh's parents house in Kenai. So this will have to due. :)

Mateo in his new "hoodie" Granny made for him! Cute, warm, and snuggley!

No, this is not his natural smile...but it seems to be hard to get one these days if you say "smile"...so now if I remember I use my sister Mindy's trick and have him say "monkey".

Our boys doing one of their favorite things! Isn't that just the funniest expression on Noah's face?

Our handsome boy in a kuspuk his Grandparents had made for him for his first birthday. This is us about to go to his Grandparents new church in Kenai and surprise them (they didn't know we were coming). :)

Some precious time with my grandparents...Mateo and Noah's Greatgrandparents! I love this picture!

Sleeping on the way home from Kenai. My two "michelin men".

Our handsom growing Mateo....he is almost 3.5 (at Christmas), which means he is almost 4! Which means he is almost 5! Which means he will be off to college soon!! Yikes! How does time pass so quickly?

I wish you all could hear Mateo's "belly laugh"! Maybe you could just imagine it from the next 2 pictures!

Noah feeding himself with a spoon for the first time. :) Not bad for the first time! (I am one of those parents who wait a little longer to let them start feeding themselves when they are actually capable of getting most of the food in their mouths...instead of everywhere else...but that is another topic...;)

Where Our Family Is Now

2009-11-23T15:50:00.001-09:00

Well...our family has been through A LOT in the last 3 months! This is a post we have needed to write, but there are times when I think about writing it I am not sure how or what to say. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but there has been some tough news and circumstances. One thing that hasn't changed is that we are trusting the Lord to help, guide, and comfort us through it. Also, God has blessed us with a loving supportive family, church, and group of friends (even Josh's colleagues), and we are so thankful for all of you!

Early this summer Mateo had had a couple of weeks where we saw something like seizures. So he was given an EEG and then referred to the only Pediatric Neurologist in the state. We have seen him 3 times this summer and each time he does not seem concerned with Mateo's brain. He did agree to do some standard testing to look for some things that might have caused the seizures including an MRI. During the first appt. with him he did a physical evaluation where I remembered to mention that he has had a slight curve of the spine that yearly we are supposed to be checking. He did see it and that reminded me that at Mateo’s 3 year wellness check up (coming up soon) I was going to ask Mateo’s pediatrician to x-ray it again. It had been X-rayed when we first got home with Mateo and was just a slight curve that we would watch yearly…not enough of a degree of curvature to officially call it “scoliosis”. So when I took him in for his 3 year appt. we had it x-rayed and we were told there was a slightly greater curve than before, and that we would be referred to an orthopedic dr/surgeon. I didn’t think too much about it, because I already believed he had scoliosis and figured this appt. would just make it “official”. In the three weeks between our 3 year check-up and the appt. with the Orthopedic Dr. we had Mateo’s MRI scheduled. For anyone who is not aware of this, to do an MRI on a little one they have to sedate them so they won’t move or be completely freaked out during the time they are in the big, loud tube. Well, Mateo did not do well on the sedation and he kept fighting it, so they kept giving him more. Though they say they never went over the amount they were suppose to give him…I was not happy with how much they gave him… and I could tell something was wrong. They eventually kicked me out of the MRI room, but then shortly after, the nurses were running around grabbing things, and I knew something was really wrong and they wouldn’t say. Shortly after that they were wheeling him out and it sounded like he couldn’t breath. It was a very scary moment for Josh and me!! And to make it worse they weren’t answering my questions…they were giving me answers but not to anything I was asking. Anyways…to try to wrap this up briefly…(I know it is too late for that) our first MRI try was not a positive experience not to mention unproductive. He was shortly fine, they rolled him on his side and had him on oxygen, and then they let him sleep off all of the drugs. Then, when he did wake up, we had about 1.5 hours of him screaming bloody murder…and if you know our little guy this was very uncharacteristic of him. He was so disoriented and nothing we could do would comfort him. It was a very hard time. They pretty much said he must have had too much flem and he couldn’t protect his airway when he was on the drugs and that next time we do this, if we were to decide that this was important enough to try it again, he would have to do general anesthesia and have his airways tubed. At that point, I was thinking… if it is up to me I don’t think that this is worth all of this!

Next we met with the Orthopedic Dr. and he told us, yes, there was scoliosis but that was not what he was concerned about. There were a couple of vertebrae that were malformed and that could be indicative of a few serious conditions, but of course he wouldn’t be able to know for sure until he could look at an MRI of Mateo’s entire spine. So….back to the MRI drawing board.

The second MRI went a lot smoother, though it was practically a whole day of it. Maria had just had surgery 2 days before (more on that later) so Josh and Josh’s dad took Mateo and spent the day at the hospital waiting. It was supposed to be a 2 hour MRI of the brain and the spine, but ended up being 4.5 hours not including the sedation part and the recovery- waking up part. Then it took us almost 3 weeks to get a follow up appt. to be told the results (our original orthopedic dr. hurt his knee and needed surgery himself so we were referred to another orthopedic dr.). During this month and a half Josh and I were trying to stay positive! It seemed like it could be serious or not too serious, and we didn’t have enough information to freak out one way or the other. Also, while we did the waiting game, we would both look at our Mateo and just be amazed at how wonderfully he was doing and think “how bad could it be?” So…needless to say we were not prepared for the results. We also had both boys with us and though we both felt like we had been kicked in the stomach, we felt the immense responsibility to react neutrally for Mateo’s sake. (He was already really jumpy at this appt. –the last time he was in the building was for the MRI). So our news: Mateo has a VERY RARE condition called Diastematomylia. In-uetero his vertebrae formed incorrectly and instead of curving around to create a spinal column to protectively house his loose spinal cord, they curved around and then continued to curve back around and split his spinal cord into two pieces. So kind of like for a part of his spine he has two small spinal columns housing a spinal cord split into two pieces. Now what does this mean for Mateo? Well, basically without treatment (which is at least one major, risky surgery) in a few years as he grows through growth spurts, he will be paralyzed and loose all functions at least from the waist down, and there is also great, chronic pain associated with this condition. The pain caused by the spinal cord being tethered (or attached to the spine in some way that will stretch when he is growing or being active) The spinal cord is supposed to be loose because as you grow the spine grows at a 40% faster rate than the cord eventually being much longer than the cord. There are still a lot of unknowns because each case of this condition is unique and we have to wait to see a specialist –a pediatric neurosurgeon- to tell us how bad Mateo’s case is and when they think surgery will be needed. From the little we can find online about this condition…there are two controversial differing thoughts on when to do the surgery (surgeries). Some think it should be done as soon as possible, before any loss of neurological function appears, and others prefer to wait until symptoms appear (I think with the caution if you do it too early there might be later surgeries that will need to happen and then you can end up with secondary problems and problematic conditions from more spinal surgeries). Deep Breath… The first 2-3 days were hard (for lack of a better work) but the one thought both Josh and I had that was comforting to us that first night was “this is new news to us, but not to God. He has known it all along, part of his plan, and he will be with us through it all.” We also, were/are so thankful for our Medical care/insurance, and SO GLAD Mateo is a part of our family!!

So it was a frustrating 3 week journey trying to find the right pediatric neurosurgeon to be referred to. But we finally know who we are seeing and when. Until then, we will not know much more than what I have just typed. Please pray for us the first week of December! Mateo will be spending another half day getting his MRI redone with an additional CT scan at Seattle Children’s Hospital. Then the next day we will meet with the Neurosurgeon. J It is good to have an appt. and look forward to a time when we will have more answers.

Of course because we are unsure if Mateo will need surgery right away or it is a few years off for him, we have had to put our adoption on hold. So after this appt. in Seattle the first week of December we will not only know more of what life will look like for Mateo but also what the next year will look like for our family. We still as a family pray for our little one in Ethiopia, and know God has a plan for our family! Now, just for the patience to wait and see how it will all work out! J

During this time I (Maria) have been having health problems. I have had a bad gallbladder for almost a year and I have been doing everything in my power to keep it (was scared of surgery). But right about the time of Mateo’s MRI’s it seemed to flare up along with new worsening symptoms. So I ended up having my gallbladder out. Praise God it went well, and for my husband, family and church for helping our family out during a very stressful week! I couldn’t pick up Noah for 1-2 weeks and so I needed lots of help taking care of my little ones! Since the surgery I have had quite a few of my symptoms return, which is so discouraging! I have to pray almost daily to fight against the fear of the “unknown” or “unknown symptoms” going on with me! We are still narrowing down all of what is going on with me. I am working with my naturopathic doctor and my primary care provider on it. We are checking some food allergies including but not limited to gluten, wheat, and dairy! So, please pray that we would figure out what is going on so I can spend more of my focus on Mateo’s doctor trip coming up and Noah! I would love to feel healthy again!

Sweet, Noah, he is doing well! We have also, had some health issues with him! He stopped gaining weight at 9 months and then slowly lost it. He also, has seemed like his stomach was always bloated, yet he was always hungry!!! Poor little guy started to seem more miserable than good! Though, after just figuring out some of his food allergies, and trying to get his iron up, he is starting to be a much happier and content baby/toddler! We are so thrilled to see him doing better! He has just started walking on his own (more than 2 or 3 steps) and it is so fun to watch! Mateo and Noah are great buddies and miss each other when they are not together! Noah even takes better naps when Mateo is around!

And my husband Josh! Thank God he has been blessed with good health during all of this! What a precious husband and daddy he is!! He has held our family together in support, prayer, and understanding. Please pray for him! Please pray that the stress our family has been through in the last few months and maybe about to continue through, would not crush him under the heavy weight of responsibility!

Also, during this time, my mother had shoulder surgery, my older sister just had her first baby a month early, with about 2 weeks of complications until they induced her and she labored for 28 hours and then they did a c-section, and my grandma is about to go in tomorrow for open heart/bypass surgery. Please pray for my Grandma! We love her so much…and selfishly would love to have more time with her! Though, I know she is going to a much better place! Praise God Mom’s shoulder is recovering! Praise God I have a new (small) yet healthy nephew- Jackson Cole! Praise God that Melissa is recovering and enjoying being a new mother! (though it hasn’t been updated with pictures yet you can read their blog on the left under “twitchell zoo”.) Praise God that John (Melissa’s husband) was offered his dream job the day after Jackson was born! (He has been laid off since a month after they knew they were expecting their first child) God’s timing is perfect!

Well, I need to go now! This has been a very long post. Please pray for us and our family, and please feel free to contact us…I will try to respond J Also, so many people have asked me to let them know how things go…I am worried I have forgotten already everyone whom I said I would. So please, feel free to call or email and ask…and I will try my hardest to make time to update this when we have more information.

Love

Maria

Where we are in our adoption...

2009-09-10T11:20:00.002-08:00

Well...this is a post that has been long coming...more details about our adoption. I am sorry it has taken so long...I wouldn't even know where to start to share with you how busy and crazy our last month and a half have been!!

So... We are adopting from Ethiopia through Holt International. (some time when I have more time I might get a chance to explain why we chose them). Our total process should be around a year from the start (last month) but may go faster or may go slower...the nature of International Adoption. We do not know who our child is yet. (This will differ from our adoption from Guatemala- in Guatemala you would be "referred" a child toward the beginning of your process, but in Ethiopia it will be later in the process) Though we do know who our child is, they will likely be younger than Noah to try to keep the birth order (for now :)).

The process looks basically like this. Homestudy, Immigration Approval, and preparation of Dossier (formal packet of information for Ethiopian government) are the first things that happen after you have picked an agency. We are right in the middle of all of these (paperwork galore, but the children- our child is worth it!) and my tentative goal is to have all of these put together and ready to send to our agency by mid October. Then after our agency has checked everything and it looks good to go, they will send it to a place in Washington DC to get a special stamp, then it will go to Ethiopia to be translated and filed. Also, once they have approved it, they will put us on their waiting list for a referral (adoption language for your child). As of when we were interviewing Holt they were saying the wait is 6-9 months for a referral once you are placed on the waiting list. But since then, I have seen their client's wait to be more like 2-4 months! Which could make this all go quite faster than we originally thought. But things could change again before we get to that point in the process...so we'll see! :) Once they call us and give us our referral (probably pictures of a child with medical reports) we are given a couple of weeks to decide if we will accept this child as the one we will adopt. (During these couple of weeks we are encouraged to take this medical information to a international adoption specialist doctor and have them review it with us. We would have to have a very good reason for not wanting to adopt this child to be able to say no...it can't be for superficial reasons). Once we officially accept this child we would then have to wait on average 4 months before we can go pick them up from Ethiopia and bring them home. During this time there is a court appointment in Ethiopia where a judge reviews this child's case and all the paperwork about our family and then passes us or asks for more information...(so there is a chance that we wouldn't pass the first time and then we would be scheduled for another court date). After we pass, the child is officially ours, but Holts staff is still very busy over in Ethiopia getting new birth certificates, medicals, visas and forms ready for our Embassy appointment which will happen when Josh and I are there picking up our child. Then we travel over there to meet our child and bring them home. The trip will probably be close to 2 weeks by the time you add the 2 days of travel time on both ends of the trip. We will bring our child home officially a part of our family, but we will have to "readopt" here in the US to get all the citizenship stuff in order.

Adopting from Ethiopia is not as expensive as some International Adoptions, and though we have quite a big chunk saved/designated for this (Praise God!), we will still need to fundraise about a third of the costs. People keep asking us what some of our other plans are for fundraising other than the garage sales. Good question! We are still brainstorming this...we have a couple of ideas like a raffle event with dessert (Yes it would be Josh's gourmet desserts again!) and a really neat fundraiser involving coffee that will help us adopt from Ethiopia but also go to help an orphanage in Ethiopia. We are very encouraged that our friends, family, and church people are asking about ways to help! So thank you all! And thank you all who donated stuff for us to sell at our garage sale! It was amazing to see that at the end of the garage sale we had pretty much the exact amount we needed 2 days later for filing our Immigration approval! And since then we have sold some of the left over big items on craigslist and now we have the exact amount needed for the second payment of our homestudy! Isn't God amazing! He is providing to bring this special child home! Please let us know if you all have any other great ideas! We are open to suggestions, or if anyone wants to help with anything we already brainstormed, we would love the help!

Well that is all for now. I would just ask for your prayers for our family! Not just for our adoption process, but for our unknown child in Ethiopia and their birthfamily, for Mateo and Maria's health right now as we and the doctors are trying to figure out what is going on with both of them, and for our extended family!

Love
The Cross Family

Hodge Podge...(more Noah Birthday to come when I get more pics)

2009-09-10T10:51:00.011-08:00

Noah's Birthday Family Party...definitely more to come...Aunt Mindy took most of the pictures and life has been so crazy recently I haven't had a chance to pick them up from her yet...so here is a preview. (Trying for a black bear theme...this is all I could find decorative wise that kind of matched.)

Playing at the park one sunny evening with Grandma and Grandpa (Cross). What fun!

A long weekend trip to Valdez to visit Papaw and Granny and to fish with Great Grandma and Great Grandpa. It was a wild and crazy weekend completely different than planned due to a family emergency. But Praise God everyone is safe and recovering! And we still got to sneak in a little time with loved ones.

Daddy caught the one and only fish (of the two hour quick trip out to fish) and this is the best picture I could take because I was driving the boat and it was pretty busy out there. If you look very closely the splashing in the water is Josh's fish playing hard to get.

Great Grandpa unhooking it from the net.

Mateo and Mommy on the ride back...the rocking kept lulling Mateo to sleep.

Back at Granny and Papaw's Apartment we barrowed Papaw's clippers and gave Noah is first full hair cut (before this he had just gotten a few trims around his ears)

Talk about squirmy! It took 5 or 6 shots to get them all holding still together to get this shot!!

And FINALLY...with a little tackle help from Daddy we managed to get the clear picture!

Noah trying to stand without help...and having a blast with his hat (that he tried to put on himself-so we helped him)

Our Noah is such a character!!! :) He is so much fun (when he isn't teething :) and he is feeling good)

Daddy and Mateo building with the blocks...can you tell who is the handsome engineer in the picture and who is the handsome engineer-to-be?

The last of our garden this year...

Here are some pictures I stole off of my sister's blog of our time together this summer. Melissa and John came up from Washington to be in Sterling for my Grandma's 80th birthday party. They are expecting their first child, so we through them a shower too, while they were up here. It was a good time and fun to all be together again for a little bit.

This is our mom and all three girls, Mary, Melissa, Maria, and Mindy!

Melissa and John

Aunt Mindy and all of us at the Wild Life Refuge!

One of my all time favorite photos!! This picture speaks a thousand words! And just incase you don't hear them :) It is so fun and such a warm fuzzy blessing to see my Grandpa and Mateo be such great buds! Mateo adores him and they are always heading off somewhere to feed the chickens or some other cool country thing!

Grandma and I in a Chicken Croquet Duel...and of course Grandma won!

My handsome and funny boys!

Mateo's First Day of Spanish Preschool

2009-09-10T10:34:00.004-08:00

He is going 3 mornings a week to learn Spanish in an immersion setting. Think it is going well...He is having fun! (and yes Aunt Missy this hairs for you!) Sorry some of these are blurry our camera has been having a hard time focusing! (and/or our kids are getting more squirmy)

Sooo...I always slick down his hair (which my sister Melissa teases me about) because once it drys it will stick up...so I just give it a little help to lay flat. :)

BIG ADOPTION FUNDRAISER GARAGE SALE THIS WEEKEND!!!

2009-08-25T10:08:00.003-08:00

Hi everyone!! I just wanted to post on here about our garage sale this weekend! Come on by and do some shopping and spread the word and bring some friends! :) Yes I know most of you who read this are out of town, but we would ask that you would pray for a good turn out and sunshine!! (or at least no rain! :) Our church, friends and family have donated lots of stuff for us to sell! It should be great! Especially if you like to decorate or need any household items!

Here are the details:

BIG ADOPTION FUNDRAISER GARAGE SALE

August 28 and 29th Friday and Saturday 9-4pm

Email or call for address or check Craigslist Friday morning!

Also, if you have any junk (aka someone's treasures) laying around that you would like to donate for us to sell, we would appreciate that too! Just let us know and we can try to arrange to pick it up! Thanks Everyone!!

And our family continues to grow...

2009-08-04T09:14:00.003-08:00

We are starting our next international adoption...

from Ethiopia!

We feel like God is not done blessing our family with precious children! And after praying about a few country choices for international adoption, we feel Ethiopia put on our hearts! God already knows who our little one will be. :) I am sure you will have lots of questions for us and there will be lots of answers to come. But right now we will leave it as simple as this: We are excited to see God's plan for our family and how He is going to grow our family. And we are excited to become forever tied to this beautiful country, these beautiful people, and to see who our precious one will be! (though Maria is just a little apprehensive about the 30+ hours it will take to get there- she likes traveling to new places, but not the "traveling" that it takes to get there. aka flying) We also would like you to know that your prayers, encouragement, and support with our last two adoptions were a priceless blessing to us, and we would absolutely love to know that you will continue to pray for and encourage us as we are walking out in faith to bring home our next little one!